I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
