You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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