So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
