Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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