I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
