Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize