i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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