I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
