i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
