what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
