make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
