I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Randomize
