I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
