Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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