I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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