I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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