omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
