Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
