whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize