White coat. Heels.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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