They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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