idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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