Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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