I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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