So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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