The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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