She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I have aggressive nipples.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
