The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
