His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
