That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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