Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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