So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
