we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
