was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
