then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
