there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize