What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
