My first STD was from a foam party
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
