I bet he comes in French.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's no shave November. This is our time.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
