should my penis look like a turkey
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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