Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
