i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
