so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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