i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
