dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize