Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
