Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
