Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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