Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
