I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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