I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The air was thick with penises
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
