are you still at the devil's house?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You should frame my arrest warrant.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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