Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
