she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
