His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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