I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The Olympian is in my bed
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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