...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize
