go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Randomize