what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
