No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
