I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
