I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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