I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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