Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
