i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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