Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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