Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
