omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
